These questions appeared at the beginning of the LSL1 remake. Josh Mandel wrote the brochures included in the game box and these questions.

I recommend you use the Find function of your browser (usually that's Ctrl-F) and let it search this page for you. There are a lot of words on this page!

If you know a question that I've omitted here, please tell me. Thanks to Carlos Eduardo Lopez Hernandez for compiling this list.

What taste treat is pictured to the right of the frankfurters in the “Palamino Ranch” brochure?
a. Beans
b. Tacos
c. Breakfast fajitas
d. Fried Eggs and cornbreads

What taste treat is pictured to the left of the frankfurters in the “Palamino Ranch” brochure?
a. Beans
b. Tacos
c. Breakfast fajitas
d. Fried Eggs and cornbreads

What do the cowgirls have at the Palamino Ranch?
a. All the rope you’ll need
b. Band-aids ‘n banjos
c. Jugs o’ moonshine
d. Bed rolls ‘n chaps

According to the “Palamino Ranch” brochure, where can you see oozing paint pots year ‘round?
a. Moaning Glory Acres
b. Carla’s Bad Caverns
c. The Lost Wages Mystery Hole
d. Coarsegold, California

Which of his cards does “Whose Whom” want Larry to use?
a. Non

b. Master-Pay-It
c. American Espresso
d. Whiner’s Club

Which color is the line under the letterhead of the “Whose Whom” letter?
a. Re

b. Blue
c. Green
d. Black

The map directing you to the Palamino Ranch looks like
a. a map of Fresno.
b. a map of Manhattan.
c. a guide to Swedish hot pages.
d. a closeup of Baked Beans.

What is the color of the sunset behind the cowboy riding the bucking bronco beneath the word “tenderfoot” on the “Palamino Ranch” brochure?
a. Mauve
b. Puce
c. Burnt Avocado
d. Salmon

According to “Whose Whom,” Larry prefers his ladies' derriere
a. firm.
b. rounded.
c. petite.
d. yes.

The man on the cover of the Palamino Ranch brochure is about to
a. hang.
b. draw.
c. lasso.
d. ride.

According to “Whose Whom,” what does Larry Laffer do for a living?
a. Traveling software salesma

b. Semi-professional gambler
c. Ramblin' kinda guy
d. Model for autmobile windshield shades

According to “Whose Whom,” what length legs does Larry prefer his women to have?
a. Long enough to reach the ground
b. Any length
c. 65 inches
d. Similar

The man in the little picture above the word “Activities” in the “Palamino Ranch” brochure is saddling up a
a. horse.
b. bull.
c. fence.
d. calf.

According to “Whose Whom,” what kind of hair does Larry prefer his women to have?
a. Clear

b. Real
c. Blonde
d. Thick, luxuriant and kissably soft

How far is the Palamino Ranch from the Humongous Tetons?
a. Spittin' distance
b. Just down the road
c. 2 miles
d. 5 miles

How does the Vice President of “Whose Whom's” Direct Male Department sign his name?
a. Sincerely
b. Enthusiastically
c. Hungrily
d. Admiringly

In the small photo next to the word “spread” in the “Palamino Ranch” brochure, a cowboy seems to be hugging
a. a rodeo clown.
b. another cowboy.
c. a cowgirl.
d. a cow.

Whose address appears at the bottom of the “Whose Whom” brochure?
a. Sierra On-Line
b. “Whose Whom in America's”
c. Lawrence Laffer's
d. None. This is a trick question!

According to “Whose Whom,” how well-endowed does Larry prefer his women?
a. Any size
b. Long enough to reach the ground
c. Petite blossoms
d. Medium handfuls

What will the folks at the Palamino Ranch show the “wimmenfolk” how to do?
a. Pull taffy under the stars

b. Make patchwork quilts at the Bee
c. Churn ice cream down by the barn
d. Lance boils up at the infirmary

Who is the Vice President of “Whose Whom's” Direct Male Department?
a. Phil DeKonndom
b. Adolph Muhweeny
c. Kent Getitup
d. Les Befrenz

“Whose Whom” thinks Larry and men like him are
a. manly, macho and miserable.
b. fabulouso, studly, sensitive.
c. brilliant, bronzed, brawny.
d. sweet, suave and sophisticaded.

The map that shows you how to get to the Palamino Ranch is
a. a side of bacon.
b. a slab of steak.
c. a pile of beans.
d. an ear of corn.

Getting to the Palamino Ranch is easier than
a. fallin' of a log.
b. findin' a needle in a haystack.
c. pickin' off a saddlesore.
d. goin' outhouse-tippin' at midnight.

According to “Whose Whom,” how old is Larry Laffer?
a. 39
b. 40
c. 35, going on 16
d. 50

The phone number for the Palamino Ranch is
a. 1-800-ZIP-DOWN
b. 1-800-KIS-QUIK.
c. 1-800-COW-WHIZ.
d. 1-800-MIZ-BULL.

What's not allowed at the Palamino Ranch?
a. Cow-tippin'
b. Spurs
c. Bareback ridin'
d. Cow pokin'

What kind of contest is held on Tuesdays at the Palamino Ranch?
a. Cowpine throwin'
b. Hog callin'
c. Canyon Yodelin'
d. Pie eatin'

In the “Palamino Ranch” brochure, the gal sittin' 'round the campfire is playing a
a. harmonica.
b. guitar.
c. jaw harp.
d. flute-a-phone.

What color is the dotted line at the bottom of the “Whose Whom” letter?
a. Navy blue

b. Seafoam green
c. Raspberry red
d. Orange orange

The address on the back of the “Whose Whom” letter is
a. smeared.
b. invisible.
c. scrawled on by a child.
d. also Al Lowe's home address.

Which one of the following is NOT one of the activities at the Palamino Ranch?
a. Cow pokin'
b. Bareback ridin'
c. Ropin' fillies
d. Cattle rustlin'

What's for lunch at the Palamino Ranch?
a. Grubsteaks and baked potatoes
b. Tacos and hot buns
c. Cornbred and chili
d. Weiners-in-a-blanket

The Palamino Ranch is available for
a. bar-mitzvahs
b. confirmations.
c. anniversaries.
d. St. Trixie's Day of Self-Flagellation.

What color is the border on top of the “Palamino Ranch” brochure?
a. Blue-gray

b. Aquamarine
c. Rust
d. Dusty beige

The offices of “Whose Whom” are located in
a. Lost Wages.
b. Salt Lick City.
c. Sins-in-Addie.
d. New Dork City.

The Vice President of “Whose Whom's” Direct Male department signs his name with a
a. black fountain pen.
b. blue felt-tip pen.
c. leaky gold magic marker.
d. red fine-tip pen.

According to “Whose Whom in America,” what kind of credit risk is Larry?
a. Adequate

b. Poor
c. Nonexistent
d. Bogus

According to “Whose Whom,” how tall is Larry Laffer?
a. Tall enough to reach the ground
b. Four feet, nine inches
c. Five feet, five inches
d. 69 inches, what else?

According to the “Palamino Ranch” brochure, Old Faceful erupts every
a. 35 minutes
b. 25 minutes.
c. 20 minutes.
d. time you smile at it.


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