You May Be Italian If…
You bench press 325, shave twice a day, but still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, four oranges, two bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least five cousins living in the same town or on the same block. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with at least eight banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family is taller than 5' 9", everyone assumes his mother had an affair.
Your bridal party contained more than 28 people.
You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
Your grandfather had a fig tree.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2 PM.
On Christmas Eve you eat only fish.
Your mom's meatballs are the best in the world.
You've ever been hit with a wooden spoon.
You've ever had a shoe thrown at you.
Every piece of your mother's furniture was covered with clear plastic.
You know how to correctly pronounce "cappicola," "manicotti," and "mozzarella."
You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."
You've ever called someone a "mamaluke."
You understand "bada bing."
You actually get these jokes and send your friends this link!
Bonus Q & A
Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses? Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why so many Italian men are named Tony? Because when they got
on the boat to America, they put a sticker on them that said, "TO NY".