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You May Be A Middle School Teacher If…

You believe the staff room should be equipped with Valium salt licks.

You stand on your front porch instructing your neighborhood's children to "Walk!"

You want to slap the next person who says, "It must be nice to only work from 8 to 3 and have your summers off!"

You refer to adults as "boys and girls."

You encourage your spouse by telling them "you're a good helper."

You believe chocolate is a major food group.

You can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe report cards should come with a box labeled, "extremely annoying."

When you are out in public, you loudly snap your fingers at kids who are misbehaving.

You give your spouse "The Look" when they "misbehave."

You have no life from August through June.

Putting all A's on the report card would be so much easier.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce, earned only after they've worked in a middle school for at least five years.

You encourage a parent to check into home schooling.

You don’t want children of your own because there there's not a name you can hear that doesn’t elevate your blood pressure.

You believe that school ventilation systems should automatically spray Prozac.

You believe that IV caffeine drips should be available in all staff rooms.

When you meet a child’s parents, you instantly understand "why this kid is like that?"

You email this link to all your teacher friends.