You May Be from Boston if…
You know there’s no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, and no water on Water Street.
You know that Back Bay streets are in alphabetical “oddah:” Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. as are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc. If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you’re on Beacon Hill. If they’re named after poets, you’re in Wellesley.
You know Massachusetts Avenue is Mass Ave and Commonwealth Avenue is Comm Ave.
You know that South Boston is Southie. The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End. The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.
You can pronounce these names correctly:
You know that frappes have ice cream and milkshakes don’t.
You know that if it is fizzy and flavored, it’s tonic; you call soda, “club soda;” and pop, “dad.” And if you want tonic water, you’ll ask for “tonic water.”
You think the smallest beer is a pint.
You know that scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more than $7/pound, you got scrod.
You know it’s not a water fountain, it’s a “bubblah.”
You call a trashcan, a “barrel.”
You call shopping carts, “carriages.”
You call a purse, a “pock-a-book.”
You call a frank, a “haht dahgs.”
You know the police don’t drive patrol cars or black-and-whites, they drive “croozas.”
You think that those who take the bus are on the “looza crooza.”
You call a rubber band, an “elastic.”
You call a traffic circle, a “rotary.”
You know that “Going to the islands” means Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket.
You call the Red Sox, the “Sox”; the Celtics, the “C’s”; the Bruins, the “B’s”; and the Patriots, the “Pat’s.”
You would never pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd cauz they’ll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Summahville (Somerville).
You won’t sleep on the Common.
You won’t wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick’s Day.
You know there are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, and two Hancock buildings (each has one old and one new).
You can forecast the weather by the colored lights on top of the old Hancock (Solid blue, clear view; flashing blue, clouds due; solid red, rain ahead; flashing red, snow instead) except in summer, when flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out!
You know that Route 128 is I-95 South and also I-93 North.
You would never call the “T” the subway. “And it doesn’t run all night. Fah chrysakes, this ain’t Noo Yawk!
You know that if you order “cold tea” in China Town after 2:00 am you’ll get a kettle of beer.
You think it’s your God-given right to cut off other cars.
You only use 25 letters of the alphabet (no R’s) except in “idea.”
You call three straight days of 90°+ temperatures a heat wave.
You refer to six inches of snow as a “dusting.”
You “bang a left” as soon as the light turns green… and oncoming traffic expects it.
You believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.You call 63° ocean water “warm.”
You find a Rhode Island accent annoying.
You actually get these jokes and send your friends this link!