Back To Als Site
Back to Al's Text Humor Page

You May Be from Silicon Valley if…

You make $100,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.

Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away from work.

When someone asks you how far away something is you tell them how long it will take to get there.

Instead of asking, "How much will that cost?" you ask, "How long will that take?"

The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

Two-thirds of your friends are on EST, but you live in PST.

You know vast differences between Thai, Vietnemese, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese, and Korean food.

Most of the software on your home computer isn't on the market yet.

The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

You go to "The City" on weekends, but don't live there because you like your car.

You think "I'm going to Fry's" is an acceptable excuse to leave the office for a while and your boss agrees.

You lost your alarm clock. You'll get to work when you get there.

You're at an industrial-strength heavy-metal bar and two guys fight over which flavor of UNIX is better.

You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware/software companies' logos printed on them. (Bonus points if embroidered.)

You know where Woz Way, Resistor Avenue, and Floppy Drive are located.

You know where Woz is.

You know that 280 North runs West, and 680 North runs East.

You think Microsoft is the embodiment of Satan, even if their stock is worth more than yours.

You see a billboard that says "FGPA2ASIC" and aren't fazed.

You need to update your 3-D video drivers and you just walk across the street.

You have more bandwidth in your condo than most state universities.

You know how to eat an artichoke.

When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You have to hire security to keep the panhandlers off your terrace.

No one you work with is a Bible thumper.

You actually get these jokes and send your friends this link!

You scan yard sale tables for back issues of "Dr. Dobb's."

Your favorite computer reseller speaks only Cantonese.

You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

Your workplace vending machines dispenses "100% natural twig bars," Jolt cola and Instant Espresso.

No one at work has radios any more-they all use RealAudio and listen to dj.com and rebelradio.com.

You actually get these jokes!