You May Be from Montana if…
…at least twice a year, your kitchen serves as a meat processing plant.
…driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
…finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition.
…parking your car for the night involves an extension cord.
…someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there. …your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead …you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time.
…the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school basketball game.
…the most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
…the sunbelt to you means Miles City.
…there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on opening day for deer rifle season.
…there are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time.
…to you, vacation means going shopping for the weekend in Great Falls, Billings or Bozeman while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn.
…you can drive 65 mph through two feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
…you can identify a southern or eastern accent.
…you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
…you clean the grease off your barbecue grills so the bears won’t prowl on your deck.
…you consider 40 degrees below zero to be “a little chilly.”
…you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through eight inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by.
…you consider Red Lodge exotic.
…you consider the first day of elk season as a national holiday.
…you consider tube-socks and flannel nightshirt sexy lingerie.
…you design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
…you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
…you find 0° “a little chilly.”
…you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy.”
…you have less miles on your car than on your snowblower.
…you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
…you know how to correctly pronounce “ Butte.”
…you know over ten ways to prepare elk meat.
…you know several people who have hit more than one deer.
…you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
…you leave your car’s windows up in the campground so the bears don’t drive it away.
…you like winter driving because the potholes are filled in with snow.
…you measure distance in hours.
…you often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.
…you only know four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
…you think there are four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
…you wear hunting clothes to social events.
…you’re proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation.
…you’ve ever attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Sorels.
…you’ve ever had your snowblower stuck on your roof.
…you’ve ever played road hockey on skates.
…you’ve ever used your car’s trunk as a deep freeze.
…you’ve ever written McDonald’s a check at to pay for your Big Mac value meal.
…you’ve installed security lights on your house and garage but leave them unlocked.
…you’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
…your backyard’s mosquitoes have landing lights.
…your car payment is less than the payment on your snowmobile.
…your county’s major fund-raiser isn’t bingo but sausage-making.
…your family car is a crew cab pickup.
…your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood.
…your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.
…your local paper’s national and international coverage fits on one page, but devotes six pages to local sports.
…your town has an equal number of bars and churches.
…you actually get these jokes and send your friends this link!