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Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex

You can actually get chocolate.

“If you love me, you’ll swallow it” has real meaning.

It’s satisfying even when it has gone soft.

You can safely have it while driving.

You can make it last as long as you want it to.

You can have it even in front of your mother.

Even if you bite the nuts hard, it doesn’t mind.

Two people of the same sex can have it without being called names.

It’s not scared of the word “commitment.”

You can have it on your desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.

You can ask a stranger for it and not get your face slapped.

It doesn’t leave hairs in your mouth.

You never have to fake it.

It won’t make you pregnant.

You can have it at any time of the month.

Good chocolate is easy to find.

You can have as many kinds of it as you can handle.

You are never too young or too old.

Even really good chocolate never wakes your neighbors.

Size doesn’t matter; any size is good