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Things You Won't Hear
On The Band Bus

Ladies, I'll need to see some proof of age, please.

Boy, I can't wait 'till we get to Maine.

No, I could hear the monitor just fine, I screwed up.

I walked her home, kissed her goodnight, and came straight back to the bus.

Go ahead and roll 'em down the aisle, they're only cymbals.

Should we go back and get the drummer?

The leader nailed every tempo perfectly again tonight!

Wow! Everybody played perfectly in tune all night long, again!

Boy, it sure is fun playing all those old Glenn Miller arrangements!

Can you believe all the money we're getting?

Gee, I wish Buddy were here!

Man, I wish we could get the guitar player to turn up a bit louder.

Why are all guitar players such good sight readers?

Hey, who cleaned up in here? This bus smells like a spring breeze.

I sure hope we reach the next town in time for Mass.

Gee what a great career! Sure glad I didn't become a dermatologist like I'd planned!

I can't wait to get to my private hotel room so I can have eight hours' uninterrupted sleep, a swim in the pool, and a couple of margaritas with my complimentary steak dinner before the gig!

Yeah, I got into music mainly because of the job security, the benefits and the opportunities for advancement... and these great bus trips, of course!

We close Sacramento Saturday and open Sioux Falls Monday. Sunday's sure gonna be fun!

Come on, guys. Let's do 99 bottles of beer just one more time!

So, are you more heavily invested in balanced or growth funds?

It's so nice to be back in this cozy bus again, hangin' with my buds.