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The Class of 2007

Most of them were born in 1985. Read this if you want to feel old.

Ricky Nelson, Richard Burton, Samantha Smith, Laura Ashley, Orson Welles, Karen Ann Quinlin, Benigno Aquino, and the U. S. Football League have always been dead.

They are not familiar with the source of that "Giant Sucking Sound. "

Iraq has always been a problem.

"Ctrl-Alt-Del" is as basic as "ABC."

Paul Newman has always made salad dressing.

Pete Rose has always been a gambler.

Bert and Ernie are old enough to be their parents.

An automatic is a weapon, not a transmission.

Russian leaders have always looked like leaders everyplace else.

The snail darter has never been endangered.

There has always been a screening test for AIDS.

Gas has always been unleaded. What's "ethyl?"

They never heard Howard Cosell call a football game.

The United States has always had a Poet Laureate.

Garrison Keillor has always been live on public radio. Lawrence Welk has always been dead on public television.

There has always been some association between fried eggs and your brain.

They would never leave their calling card on someone's desk.

They have never been able to find the "return" key.

Computers have always fit in their backpacks.

They've never seen a new Datsun.

They have never gotten excited over a telegram, a long distance call, or a fax.

The Osmonds are just talk show hosts.

Undergraduate college athletes have always been a part of the NBA and NFL draft.

They have always "grazed" for food.

Three-point shots have always been a part of basketball.

Stores have always had checkout scanners.

The Army has always driven Humvees.

Adam and PCjr computers had vanished from the market before they started school.

The Statue of Liberty has always had a gleaming torch.

They have always had a PIN.

Banana Republic has always been a store, not a puppet government in Latin America.

They've always paid for directory assistance.

They never knew restaurants had dress codes.

They have always been able to make photocopies at home.

Michael Eisner has always been in charge of Disney.

They have always been able to make phone calls from planes.

Yuppies are almost as old as hippies.

Strawberry Fields have always been in New York.

Rock 'n' roll has always been a force for social good.

They have never seen a First Lady in a fur coat.