|
32 Bit Resolution |
motion to spend four dollars |
Adobe Photoshop |
red bilding ware you git yur pictur took |
Alias |
name ya use at a motel |
Apple |
needed for pan dowdy and fritters |
Application |
put sum salve on yur skin |
Backup |
takin the truk outa the driveway |
Backup Disc |
spare Frisbie |
Bandwidth |
men’s are larger on a watch |
Binary |
having friends of both sexes |
Bit |
place a wager; as in “bit ya can’t spit that chawin tibacco plum cross ta road” |
Browser |
fella reedin Playboy in the drug store |
Bug |
thing on phone to check yur wife’s calls |
Byte |
wut them dang flys and muskitos do; first word of a kiss-off phrase |
C++ |
superior grade in skool |
Cache |
needed when yur credit cards max out and ya hav no food stamps |
CD Rom |
place in the bank ware they sell them big notes |
Chip |
munchies fer the TV |
Clipboard |
place you keep yur ammo |
Clones |
fans of the jungle; circus guys in funny suits |
Cobal |
guys and gals playing softtball together at cunpany picnics |
Code |
wen yu gotta snooty nose and coff |
Coding |
illegal drug that makes you high |
Crash |
wen yur truk hits a tree; wen you go to Junior’s party uninvited |
Cursor |
wucha do wen yur mad at yur wife |
Debugger |
a roach motel |
Digital |
a questshun as “digital her ta bring the beer?”; numers on a watch |
Digital Control |
wut yur fingers do on the TV remote |
Disc Operating System |
wut the doc uses to fix your floppy disc |
Diskette |
female disco dancer |
Domain |
most importint, as in “he’s domain boss” |
Dos |
opposite of don’ts |
Dot Matrix |
Tom Matrix’s wife |
Download |
pitchin' the farwood off the truk |
Downtime |
period of depression |
Drive Compatibility |
a long car ride with your wife without fightin |
Edit |
wucha do with food |
E-Mail |
not a sissy or weeklin |
Encryption |
what the undertaker duz to ya |
Enter |
Notherner talk fer “Cumin, y’all” |
Ethernet |
wut the doc puts on your face in surgery to make ya sleep |
Expansion Slot |
extra hole in yur belt ya use wen ya overeat |
FAQ |
used with “U,” wut you yell when someone cuts ya off |
Fax |
wucha lie about to the IRS |
File |
wut yur wile uses on her nails |
Firewall |
ware ya practises yur target shutin |
Floppy |
after sex; when you run out of Polygrip |
Floppy Disk |
soggy pizza; wucha git from liftin too much farwood |
Font |
discover as in “I font it at a garage sale” |
Format |
small rug to wipe your feet on wen ya go inta the house on a muddy day |
Fortan |
wats inside cookies at Chinese restrants; lots of money |
Frame |
wen the cops bring ther own pot to the party |
Freeze |
releases from captivity as Bruce Willis freeze the hostiges in Die Hard |
Hacker |
granpa after 62 years of smokin |
Hard Drive |
Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. |
Hardcode |
wen the snoot in yer nose gets real dry |
Hardware |
leather and spats |
Homepage |
place in the newspaper with houses for sale |
IBM |
anser wen teechur calls yur name |
Icon |
braggin as in “icon lift yur truk with one arm” |
Index |
what poker cards cum in |
Infrared |
ware the leftovers go when Fred’s here |
Install |
ware ya keep your horse |
Interactive |
run into the house |
Interface |
wat happens when two teens with braces kiss |
Internet |
wut the bait duz wen ya catch it |
Internet Explorer |
a currous fish |
Italic |
furriner from Roam |
Java Applets |
fritters for dunkin |
Jazz Drive |
fancy new sports car |
Joystick |
wat you open yur pants fur |
Keyboard |
ware ya hang yur truk keys |
Lan |
to borrow as, “Delbert, lan me yur truk”; the grass in fronta yur house |
Laptop |
ware the little kids jump on to sit |
Laser Printer |
fella too tired ta rite his ma |
Log Off |
takin the wood off the pile fur usin |
Log On |
making a wood stove hotter |
Mac |
yur kids favorite food |
Main Frame |
wut holds up the barn roof |
Manual |
truk without automatic geers |
Megabyte |
wucha git from Meg durin luvmakin |
Megahertz |
watcha git when yer not keerful gettin the farwood |
Memory Card |
used to cheat on tests |
Menu |
restarent list |
Microchip |
wuts left in the munchie bag when the chips are gone |
Microfiche |
tiny fish used fur bait |
Microprocessor |
fine meat chopper fur making sausagee |
Microsoft |
defrostin a TV dinner in the microwave |
Microsoft Windows |
small plastic thing on return envelopes |
Microsoft Word |
whisper |
Modem |
whacha do to the grass twisa yeer; how you got rid of your dandelions |
Monitor |
teachur’s helper at lunch |
Motherboard |
source of toothpicks |
Motor Housing |
a winnebago |
Mouse |
fuzzy lil thing wut eats the horses’ grain in the barn; fuzzy lil thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case |
Multicasting |
two actors taking turns playing a part in a play |
Multisync |
two washing areas in the same bathroom |
Netscape Navigator |
leeder of fish eludin comershal fishermen |
Network |
ESPN, FOX, NBC; way to get bait |
Newsgroup |
wives gossippin |
Novell |
a frictional book; a new way of doin sumthing |
Oracle |
earlobe |
Overwrite |
what makes yur checks bounce |
Packet |
wucha do to a suitcase before a trip |
Password |
“fore”, used wen playin golf |
Plotter Pen |
jail for conspirators and terrorists |
Plug-In |
push the end ot the TV cord into the wall |
Port |
fancy wine |
Printer |
fella who can’t rite in handritin |
Printout |
wen ya uz a eracer or whiteout to curect a mistake |
Program |
wuts on the TV when there’s receptshun |
Programmer |
fella with the TV remote |
Prompt |
wucha wish the mail was in mud season |
Proxy Server |
souppini deliverer wen ya cant do it yurself |
Raid |
used to kill bugs; wen the cops crash yur pot party |
Ram |
lambs daddy; whacha do to a car goin too slow on the hiway |
Ram Chip |
male sheep droppins |
Random Access Memory |
wen ya cant member wen yer wife asks ware ya were |
Real Time |
awake and not dreaming |
Reboot |
wucha do wen ya step in horse manuer |
Reload |
fill the frig with 6-pacs and chips |
Rom |
host of the jungle’s name; the Popes home; good to mix with Coca Cola. |
Scanner |
watchin a female disco dancer |
Screen |
thing to keep the flies out |
Security |
bank guard |
Server |
gal in resterant that brings yur food |
Software |
them plastic eatin utensils ya git at MacDonalds |
Spam |
meat for special occashuns |
Stationary |
not movin as most wives in bed |
Superconductors |
Glenn Miller, Doc Severnsen, |
Support |
drink fancy wine slowly; whut ya use suspenders fur |
Terminal |
time to call the undertaker |
Text |
dude from |
Token Ring |
wat ya usta git on the merry-go-round to gitttt a free ride |
Unzip |
open yur pants |
Update |
wen ya rite a check so it cant be used until next month |
Upgrade |
skule term fur permoshun as upgrade to secund after jus two yeers in furst; when teechur changes an “F” to a “D” |
Vector |
winner of the fite or race |
Version |
wucha dislike as in “he has a version to broccoli” |
Virus |
same as a code but wurse |
Website |
ware spiders catch flies |
Window |
place in a truk to hang your guns |
Windows |
wucha shut when its 30 below |
Worm |
wacha put on a fish hook |
Zip Drive |
goin fast lik a NASCAR |