- Run one lap around the office at top speed.
- Ignore the first five people who say “Good morning” to
- Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name
and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now.
- To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your
ears and grimace.
- Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”
- Walk sideways to the photocopier.
- While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the
- Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot
him with double-barreled fingers.
- Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did
you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
- Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
- Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
- At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be
nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra
points if you actually launch into it yourself).
- Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch
you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
- For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob.”
- Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have
to go do a number two.”
- After every sentence, say “Mon’ in a really bad
Jamaican accent. As in “The report’s on your desk,
Mon.” Keep this up for 1 hour.
- While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
- In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly
and mutter, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
- At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As
God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
- In a colleague’s DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: “See
how I look in tights.” (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5
more if he is your boss)
- Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “You
- Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do
you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s
- Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I
can’t talk about it.”
- Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s
won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
- Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during
a very important conference call.
- Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
- Hang a 2’ long piece of toilet roll from the back of your
pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
- Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits,
smashing each biscuit with your fist.
- During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards
- Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.