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Office Dares

One Point

  • Run one lap around the office at top speed.
  • Ignore the first five people who say “Good morning” to you.
  • Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
  • To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
  • Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”
  • Walk sideways to the photocopier.
  • While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Three Points

  • Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
  • Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
  • Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
  • Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).
  • Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

Five Points

  • At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
  • Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
  • For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob.”
  • Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two.”
  • After every sentence, say “Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “The report’s on your desk, Mon.” Keep this up for 1 hour.
  • While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
  • In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
  • At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
  • In a colleague’s DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: “See how I look in tights.” (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
  • Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “You wanna trade?”
  • Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
  • Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”
  • Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
  • Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
  • Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
  • Hang a 2’ long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
  • Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
  • During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
  • Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.