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Nerd Pickup Lines

(from Twitter)

Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?

You had me at “Hello World.”

I'm following you on Twitter. I could also follow you in real life.

You're the Wacom to my stylus.

What's the difference between me and a Star Wars laser turret? I never overheat.

Just being around you sets my synapses on fire.

Excuse me, you just made my floppy a hard drive!

Baby, I'm a sorceress and when I looked at you I detected magic all over.

They're not comic books, they're graphic novels.

Are you a Mac or PC? (Trick question; must be Linux!)

What say you take the red pill and I show you how far your rabbit hole goes?

You have the hottest multi-touch interface.

Hey, baby! Let’s get down to some packet sniffing!

Is your DM box full? 'Cause you've been tweeting around my mind all night!

Don't Control-Alt-Delete my love!

You are

Didn't I see you on xkcd?

My class's single responsibility is loving you, baby.

What say you and me merge layers?

I’d love to StumbleUpon you.

I know this great restaurant at the end of the universe.

Don't worry babe, my backdoor Trojan won't do any real damage. (Man, that one's dirty!)

Unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep.

I couldn't help but notice your <insert mobile device> from across the room. What's your favorite app?

I am The Keymaster!

Haven't I Tweeted you before?

They're not comic books, they're graphic novels.

Do you take sugar with your char(84)?


Iwish Icould kern UandI together.

Yes, I practice safe text. I use LaTeX to typeset all my math dissertations.

What's an avatar like you doing in a social network like this?

Twitter account on business card.

Are your pants made of MacBooks running PhotoBooth because I can totally see myself in them ...and they're kinda shiny!

Can I put my USB stick in your 2.0 Slot?

Don't worry, I'm virus-free.

Can I authenticate into your API?

Come back to my lab and I'll show you why the Big Bang isn't just a theory.

I really Digg you!

When I think about you I Tweet myself!

Would you like my attribute on your property?

Ping . Response?

It's so nice to see you outside of Azeroth! Wanna /dance?

I heard they booted you from MySpace.

OMG, just added to my TweetDeck and became instantly addicted.

I say "HEAD HTTP 1/1"; hopefully you say <head><link href=."/" rel="yes"></head>

I can't wait to get to my house so I can show you my Quad-Core Overclocked Watercooled Machine named ‘Dave.’

I have an 18 in Charisma.

I usually Han Solo, but I'd let you turn on my light saber!

You can talk to me in binary all the way home, baby.

is your IP available for some chat?

Would you like to come back to my place and put captions on my cats?

I have a beta invite for you.

Insteading of doing anything sexual when you come back to mine, we don't we play WoW together. I have 2 PCs.

1f u c4n r34d th1s, y0u'r3 t3h w0m4n f0r m3 or m4n !!!

I would seed forever for you.

Let's drop the pretenses of being serial and just get on with getting parallel.

Skype me later:

You totally had me at 42.

My Lode Runner craves your 'Bot Arena.

Before I can commit to this relationship, I need you to declare your variables.

1f u c4n r34d th1s, y0u'r3 t3h w0m4n f0r m3

I know this great restaurant at the end of the universe.

I'm going to tap that so many times you'll think I'm an icy manipulator in a control deck.

I can do your calculus homework for you.

I'm missing a few HTML tags. Any chance you could you give me some <head>?

Hey, baby! What's your SSID?

You get my DeLorean juiced up to 1.21 gigawatts, baby! (Or “jiggawatts” if you prefer the movie pronunciation.)

Is your source downloadable at

My activeElement = input.lenght()++

So how 'bout you and me defrag your hard drive?

Talk QWERTY to me.

Can I pc you on the DL?

Baby, you're so hot, you denature my proteins!

Is that a mirror on your CPU because I see myself in your OS!

Wanna come to my place and <strike>have sex</strike> watch a movie?

I promise to keep my standard output out of /dev/null.

Like energy, you've left me in an excited state

Number eight - equals - equals - equals - capital "D" - space - open parenthesis - capital "V" - close parenthesis, baby.

Let's see if you and I can get to warp 69, baby!

I go for the girl with a well-rounded blog & nice tweets.

When I think of you, I Twitter.

Do you use Azureus?

It's not the bandwidth, it's how you use it.

If I said you had a beautiful <body>, would you hold it against me?

4 Web Standards Geeks: Wanna come back to my place? I promise we won't use any tables.

Will you let me be your bot?

Rolls dice. “Oh, I'm sorry, beautiful, but you failed your saving throw against my twit.”

Wanna come check in to my Continuous Integration server with me?

Can I play with your OS?

I have extra towels

Geologists know what makes the bedrock.

I'd love to probe your ports.

Do you want to help me with my case mod?

I'll always hold you close and protect you... just like DRM.

You're my home row.

It's not how big your rack is, it's how many blade servers you can mount!

You attacked the Will defense of my heart, and critted.

Greetings, m'lady. How would you like to help me do a little "penetration testing?"

Before I can commit to this relationship, I need you to declare your variables.

Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?

Sudo go out with me

Hey baby, what's your echo $SHELL?

It's time for my hot SQL injection.

You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.

You had me at 10010001100101110110011011001101111

I work in a data center; can I mount your rack?

Do you speak Elvish?

Wanna see my spaceship?

You auto-complete me.

Nice Flash.

Do you like computers?

When I'm with you, I feel like C3PO on that rare withdrawn trading card. You know the one I mean.

Check out my albums.

Remember that episode in Battlestar Galactica?

Static, absolute, relative... so boring! Wanna try some new position?

Is it me or is your MP3 Encoder LAME?

Nice smartphone. It'd look even better in the universal charger on my nightstand.

I'm seeding my torrents your way.

Didn't I see you on /s/ ?

Hold on, I'm launching my GTD app... gotta put you on my "to-do" list.

I wish I was better at paper-mâché.

I wish I had more comics to shred & more Neosporin.

I wish you were a real girl.

Ever seen a <head> that's part of <body>?

Life without you is like C without semicolons.

My love for you is OVER 9000!!!!

Pardon me, but seeing you makes me want to recreationally expel genetic material with no intent of reproduction.

My IntelliSense keeps bringing up your name.

I really can appreciate your research paper on halogen lighting for the workplace and why LED flashlights are so good.

You must be the one for me since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.


<you><me></me></you> - I'm into you

Is it just me, or do all Javascript pickup lines end up in incest?

It's not the size of my hard drive, it's the way I download.

How do ya like THIS collection of trillions of cells and essential bacteria?

Your boxing model is much better than IE6's.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who read binary and those who don't.

I'll show you my slide rule if I can see your pocket protector.

I think my heart just lagged. =))

I've had laser eye surgery.

I have T-shirts I didn't get from work.

Would you like to install your software on my hard drive?

If I said you had a beautiful <body>, would you hold it against me?

You Dugg me. I liked and commented on you. You poked me. We're like love birds tweeting in the clouds.

I’m the class that all the ladies love: male enhancement shaman.

I know what can settle your stomach.

Wanna come back to my place and paint miniatures?

Is that a pocket drive or are you just happy to see me?

You had me at "one of our representatives will be with you shortly."

I checked your syntax and found no errors. Wanna go compile?

I am happy to be of service as I am to be serviced.

So, I hear you're a “service provider?”

Meta name="description" content="You've crashed my server, Baby"

Let's get together and make a mashup.

I have a Mac and an iPhone.

I just want you to know: if we hit it off tonight, I still have plenty of time to cancel my mail-order bride.

Hey cutie, are you looking for someone to format your drive?

You have to. I paid my money.

Myspace or yours?

I checked your syntax and found no errors. Wanna go compile?

How about dinner at Area 51?

I deleted a tweet and wrote it again because I made a grammatical error. That's how I roll.

Can I deep link you sometime?

Should I DM you in the morning or nudge you?

Want to come over an calculate PI?

Want to play with my PSP?

Wanna come back to my place and witness the activation of the Large Hadron Collider?

I'd love to be installed next to that rack!

Couldn't help but notice that you've set your phaser to stunning.

I like my dates like I like my Perl scripts: begin with a shebang and returning nothing.

Hey baby, if you think I'm 200 OK, let's 100 Continue this conversation but 301 Redirect to my place.

I'd like to Access your SQL but am not sure my Lingo is C.

Would it be easier to embed you if I show you my plugins?

That's not a wireless mouse in my pants -- I'm just happy to see you.

Let me blow out your CPU fan

We'd make great offspring. We're the same filetype!

I’m open source.

Hey, baby, I just checked my [system] preferences and you're it.

I'd love to help you organize your role-playing books.

Why don't you go home and we can pick up on this conversation online?

Let’s go into single user mode so I can debug your programming and check out your back door.

You defragment my life

Hey, Want to come over and watch the new Dawn of the Dead? I've got the screener.

You must be a superuser, 'cause I want to give you root access.

I'm lusting for your baud.

Your charisma must be greater than 20!

Your UI is prettier when you use less layout layers and more alpha channel transparency.

My bot wants to crawl all of your directories.

I'm available. My mail-order Russian bride was lost by UPS.

Love your layout! May I load your code?

Would you... like to be upgraded?

Your infrastructure needs penetration testing.

You know what they say, baby: subduction leads to orogeny. How about we go back to my place and make the bedrock?

I'd love to Tweet your hashtag.

Is that a jailbroken iPhone 3G firmware 2.2.1 in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Can iTouch you?

Lords of Cobol! Frak me baby! Frak me!

I hack you in my dreams, baby!

You should see the size of my keyboard!

I’d like to be the P in your TCP/IP stack. The second one.

Can you give me a hand getting the cap off of this SPF60?

Thank you, Mario! But the clitoris is in another castle!

It’s not the length of the vector that counts, it’s how you apply the force.

I'd like to send some packets into your SSH tunnel

You must have an 18 charisma and these lights give you bonus mods!

You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.

If I asked you to go home with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this one?

You look like someone my comic books could grow old with.

If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

I'll never Google anyone else.

You know what temp my CPU is running? Hot enough to break the ice.

You've got a nice grip. Care to play with my joystick?

You've opened up the wormhole to my heart.

Your father must've been an astronomer, cuz he stole the sparkle from the Pleiades and put it in your eyes.

I wish I were a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways (in 140 characters or less)

What's a nice troll like you doing in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike, like this?