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Nerd Aptitude Test

INTRODUCTION: All persons are assumed to have a Nerd Score of 0 until this test is taken. If someone refuses to take the Nerd Aptitude Test, especially if trying to preserve their 0 Nerd Score, that person’s score becomes 100%.

Each Yes answer below counts 0.5%. Add your Yes answers and divide by two to get your Nerd Score. Of course, all technicalities count!

Since nerdity is not permanent, some questions reflect this. Any “are you currently?” or “do you know?” questions should be considered as of the time of the test. Thus, if you once knew something nerdy, but have forgotten it, your nerdity quotient could go down.

For maximum enjoyment, the testee must respond out loud. Your audience may ask for details, but treat such information confidentially as nerdity is not something people brag about.

Please use only a number two pencil. Mark all answers in your blue book. Show all work. A table of useful formulas is included at the end. You may begin ... NOW!

SECTION 1: Education and Knowledge

1.     Have you ever taken a “higher” math or science course? (trig, calculus, biology, physics, chemistry)

2.     …at the college level?

3.     …and received an A (3.7 grade point)?

4.     Do you still know information you learned in the above course?

5.     Have you ever majored in the “hard sciences?” (engineering, physics, chemistry, not psychology, economics, etc.)

6.     Have you ever taken Latin?

7.     …and enjoyed it?

8.     Did you ever enjoy any of the above subjects?

9.     Have you ever asked a question in lecture?

10.   Have you ever answered a question asked in lecture?

11.   Have you ever corrected a professor in lecture?

12.   Have you ever answered a rhetorical question?

13.   Do you sit in the front row more than 20% of the time?

14.   Have you ever had a “perfect attendance record?”

15.   Have you ever taken notes in more than one color?

16.   Have you ever tutored someone else?

17.   Have you ever done homework on a Friday night?

18.   Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

Do you know:

19.   ...BASIC?

20.   ...PASCAL?

21.   ...FORTRAN?

22.   ...assembly language?

23.   Can you count in binary? (up to decimal 16)

24.   Can you count in hexadecimal? (up to decimal 32)

25.   Do you know Maxwell’s equations? (integral or differential form)

26.   Do you know Schroedinger’s Equation?

27.   Have you ever solved Schroedinger’s Equation?

28.   Do you know the right-hand-rule for cross-products?

29.   Do you know the Latin name (genus and species) for anything? (humans, fruit fly, etc.)

The next few questions deal with physical constants. Mark Yes if you can give the value to 2 or more significant digits. Knowledge of the units attached is not necessary, just the numeric portion.

30.   Gravitational constant? (G)

31.   Earth’s gravity? (g)

32.   Mass of an electron?

33.   Charge of an electron?

34.   Speed of light?

35.   Planck’s constant? (h or h-bar)

36.   Permitivity of free space? (epsilon naught)

37.   Permeability of free space? (mu naught)

38.   Avogadro’s number?

39.   Molar gas constant?

40.   Pi? (exception: more than 5 digits for a Yes)

41.   E? (exception: more than 5 digits for a  Yes)

Can you give the conversion factor to 2 or more significant digits between:

42.   Centimeters and inches?

43.   Kilometers and miles?

44.   Joules and electron-volts?

45.   Atomic mass units and kilograms? [A

46.   Celsius and Fahrenheit?

47.   Can you briefly outline the biological processes that occur due to alcohol?

48.   …while drunk?

49.   Have you ever interpolated?

50.   Have you ever extrapolated?

51.   Do you know the difference between interpolation and extrapolation?

52.   Have you ever used the word “asymptotic?”

53.   Have you ever referred to something as an L.E.D.?

54.   Have you ever referred to a ruler as a “straight-edge?”

55.   Did your father ever own a slide rule?

56.   Have you ever said “quartz crystal?”

57.   Have you ever created an acronym in order to simplify your writing?

Which of the following acronyms do you know the meaning of…

58.   RADAR?

59.   MODEM?

60.   DNA?

61.   ATP?

62.   NADP?

63.   CRT?

64.   CRC?

65.   NORAD?

66.   NASA?

67.   LED?

68.   TLA?

SECTION 2: Computers

69.   Have you ever used a computer?

70.   …for more than 4 continuous hours?

71.   …for more than 8 continuous hours?

72.   …past 4 a.m.?

73.   …on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the same weekend?

74.   …with someone you were physically attracted to?

75.   …for money?

76.   …as a source of entertainment?

77.   …in the last three months?

78.   …in the last three weeks?

79.   …in the last three hours?

80.   Have you ever programmed a computer?

81.   …to write a computer game?

82.   …to write a computer virus?

83.   Do you still own any computer with less than 2MB of RAM?

84.   Have you ever used a modem?

85.   …to gain access to a system you had no authorization on?

86.   …to call a government computer? (NASA, FBI, NORAD)

SECTION 3: Lifestyle and Possessions

87.   Do you watch more than 4 hours of TV on any given day in the last week?

88.   Can you name more than 5 shows on PBS?

89.   Have you ever watched a PBS documentary?

90.   …this week?

91.   Have you ever watched Dr. Who?

92.   Can you name or discuss the plots of more than 10 Star Trek episodes?

Can you whistle, hum, sing or snap the theme songs to...

93.   ...Gilligan’s Island?

94.   ...Flintstones?

95.   ...The Brady Bunch?

96.   ...The Jetson’s?

97.   ...The Addam’s Family?

98.   ...Dobbie Gillis?

99.   ...I Dream of Genie?

100.    Do you know most of the words to “The Lumberjack Song” by Monty Python?

101.    Have you ever played a non-sexual role-playing game? (D&D)

102.    …since leaving high school?

103.    Have you seen all of the Star Wars movies?

104.    …in one 24 hour period?

105.    Have you seen all of the Star Trek films?

106.    …in one 30 hour period?

107.    Have you ever owned a pair of Spock ears?

Have you ever read anything by…

108.    ...Douglas Adams?

109.    ...Isaac Asimov?

110.    ...Robert H. Heinlein?

111.    ...Piers Anthony?

112.    ...J.R.R. Tolkein?

113.    ...TSR Hobbies?

114.    Have you ever read Innumeracy?

115.    Have you ever read Cultural Literacy?

116.    Do you own an encyclopedia?

117.    Have you ever read an encyclopedia entry that you weren’t researching?

118.    Do you own an almanac?

119.    Do you own an atlas?

120.    Do you own a globe?

121.    …and have it on display?

122.    …that has bumps corresponding to mountain ranges?

123.    Have you ever used a chemistry set?

124.    …since the age of 12?

125.    Have you ever used a rare earth element?

126.    Have you ever dissected something?

127.    …while not in a biology class?

128.    Have you ever bought something from Radio Shack?

129.    Have you ever used an oscilloscope?

130.    Have you ever used a microscope?

131.    Have you ever used a telescope?

132.    Do you own a voltmeter?

133.    Do you own any remote controlled vehicles?

134.    Can you program the time on a VCR?

135.    Can you program a VCR?

136.    Do you read the owner’s manuals for electronic equipment?

137.    Do you own a scientific or other programmable calculator?

138.    Do you have a slide rule?

139.    …and know how to use it?

140.    Do you own a pencil case?

141.    Do you own a mechanical pencil?

142.    …and have refills for it?

143.    Do you own a laboratory notebook?

144.    Do you own graph paper?

145.    …log or semi-log paper?

146.    Do you own a table of integrals?

147.    Do you play chess?

148.    Were you ever on a chess team?

149.    Were you ever on a math team?

150.    Were you ever on a debate team?

151.    Did you ever try out for a “trivia team?”

152.    Were you ever in a science fair?

153.    …and placed in the top three?

154.    Have you ever made a technical joke?

155.    …that no one around you understood?

156.    …that everyone around you understood?

157.    Do you own a slinky?

158.    Have you ever physically analyzed a slinky?

159.    Do you own a Rubik’s cube?

160.    Are you able to solve Rubik’s Cube?

161.    …without using a book?

162.    …in under two minutes?

Section 4: Clothing and Personality

163.    Do both of your socks match?

164.    Do you own a digital watch?

165.    …that plays music?

166.    …that’s currently set to chime on the hour?

167.    …with a built-in calculator?

168.    Do you have acne?

169.    Do you have greasy hair?

170.    …without realizing it?

171.    Do you own any clothing with scientific knowledge printed on it? (i.e., T-shirts with Maxwell’s equations)

172.    Are your pants too short?

173.    Is your outfit not coordinated? (Have someone else evaluate this)

174.    Have you ever worn a button-down shirt with the tails hanging out?

175.    Are you socially inept?

176.    Do you have a tough time remembering people’s names?

177.    …but no trouble with their phone number, SSN, address.

178.    Are you taking this test alone?

179.    Did you not go to your Senior Prom?

180.    Did you go stag to your Senior Prom?

181.    Do you talk to yourself?

182.    …when other people are around?

183.    Do you talk to imaginary people?

184.    Have you ever found a grammatical error in a published book?

185.    Have you ever contemplated the meaning of life/existence of God?

186.    …while not drunk?

187.    …while alone?

188.    Do you wear glasses?

189.    Is your vision worse than 20/40?

190.    Is your vision worse than 20/400?

191.    Are you legally blind?

192.    Do you own a pocket protector?

193.    …and are wearing it?

194.    Was your SAT math score more than 300 points above your verbal?

195.    Was your combined SAT score higher than 1200?

196.    Is your IQ greater than your weight?

197.    Is your purity test score higher than your nerdity test score?

198.    Have you asked for a technical clarification of anything on this test?

199.    Have you ever thought of a question that belongs on this test?

200.    Have you added questions to this test?