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Male Sensitivity Test

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as

A. lovemaking.

B. screwing.

C. driving the pigskin boat into Tuna Town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared

A. your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.

B. your blood-test results.

C. five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that

A. your partner climaxes first.

B. you climax simultaneously

C. you don't miss ESPN SportsCenter.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is

A. healthy, creative love-play.

B. not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.

C. not the sort of thing your wife needs to never findout about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is

A. the best part of the experience.

B. the second best part of the experience.

C. $100 extra.

6. Your lady says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is

A. of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.

B. not a problem, she can join your gym.

C. a conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is

A. a myth.

B. an oxymoron.

C. a plain moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as

A. appetizer is to an entree.

B. primer is to paint.

C. long lines are to amusement parks.

9. Which of the following would you most likely say at the end of a relationship?

A. "I hope we can still be friends."

B. "I'm not in right now; leave a message at the beep."

C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population: YOU!"

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate

A. probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.

B. is uptight and a waste of time.

C. shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.