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Failed Pickup Lines

Your dress would look great on the floor by my bed.

Want to see something swell?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.

I was just about to go home and masturbate; is it okay if I fantasize about you?

Say, didn’t we go to different schools?

Why don’t you sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?

You smell wet. Let’s party.

May I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Want to dance? Or should I go to hell again?

Hey, baby, wanna make a baby?

You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.

If you’ve lost your virginity, may I have the box it came in?

Hey, babe, how about a pizza and some sex? What? You don’t like pizza?

I’ve had so much to drink that you’re beginning to look good.

I'm new in town, may I have directions to your house?

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From You've Got Laughs! Al Lowe's Book of Internet Humor
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© 1998 - 2010 by Al Lowe • All Rights Reserved • Updated December 8, 2011