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Euphemisms for Corporate Layoffs

Dissing the gruntled

Our corporate catch-and-release program

Butt-harvesting the cube farm

Eternity leave

Transferring to the couch division


Enlarging the Cult of Oprah

Helping stem the dangerously high employment rate

Increasing the ratio of Chiefs to Indians

Preventing Carpal Tunnel

Corporate liposuction

Reallocating senior management's bonus resources

Returning yuppies to the wild