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Dog Philosophy

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.

—Will Rogers

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

—Andy Rooney

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

—Mark Twain

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

—Ben Williams

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

—Ann Landers

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

—Rita Rudner

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul – chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on Earth!

—Anne Tyler

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

—Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, And very, very few persons.

—James Thurber

My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.


Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.

—Sigmund Freud

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.

—Roger Caras

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.


Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

—Robert A. Heinlein