404
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Someone who is clueless. From the
Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the
document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother
asking John. He’s 404.”
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Adminisphere
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The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.
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Alpha Geek
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The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”
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Arachnoleptic fit (n.)
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The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. |
Assmosis
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The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
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Batmobiling
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putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in “she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling”
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Beelzebug (n.)
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Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. |
Beepilepsy
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The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
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Betamaxed
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when a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in “Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market”
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Blamestorming
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A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
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Blowing Your Buffer
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Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. “Damn, I just blew my buffer!” (Synonym: “Head Crash”)
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Body Nazis
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Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively.
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Bookmark
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To take note of a person for future reference. “After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him.”
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Bozone (n.)
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The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. |
Brain Fart
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A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information. “I know you’re busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?” Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.
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Cashtration (n.)
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The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
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Caterpallor (n.)
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The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. |
CGI Joe
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A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
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Chainsaw Consultant
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An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
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Chip Jewelry
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Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. “I paid three grand for that Mac and now it’s nothing but chip jewelry.”
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Chips and Salsa
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Chips = hardware, salsa = software. “First we gotta figure out if the problem’s in your chips or your salsa.”
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CLM
(Career Limiting Move)
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Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. “Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.”
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Cobweb
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a WWW site that never changes
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Crapplet
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A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. “I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!”
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Cube Farm
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An office filled with cubicles.
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Dead Tree Edition
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The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms.
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Decafalon (n.)
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The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. |
Dilberted
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To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. “Damn, I’ve been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”
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Dopeler effect
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The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. |
Dorito Syndrome
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The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. “I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.”
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Egosurfing
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Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.
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Elvis Year
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the peak year of popularity as in “1993 was Barney the dinosaur’s Elvis year”
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Foreploy
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Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. |
Generica
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fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in “we were so lost in generica that I couldn’t remember what city it was”
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Giraffiti
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Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. |
Glazing
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Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. “Didn’t he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?”
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Glibido
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All talk and no action. |
Going Postal
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totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees who went on shooting rampages
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Gray Matter
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Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established.
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Graybar Land
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The place you go while you’re staring at a computer that’s processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). “That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour.”
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High Dome
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egghead, scientist, PhD
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Hipatitis
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Terminal coolness. |
Idea Hamsters
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People whose idea generators are always running.
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Ignoranus
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A person who's both stupid and an asshole. |
Inoculatte
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To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. |
Intaxication
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Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. |
Irritainment
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Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
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It’s a Feature
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From the old adage, “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.” Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant problem you wish to gloss over.
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Karmageddon
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It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer. |
Keyboard Plaque
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The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people’s computer keyboards.
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Link Rot
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The process by which web page’s links become obsolete as the sites they’re connected to change or die.
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Meatspace
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the physical world (as opposed to the virtual) also “carbon community” “facetime” “F2F” “RL”
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Mouse Potato
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The on-line generation’s answer to the couch potato.
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Ohnosecond
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That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.
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Open-Collar Workers
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People who work at home or telecommute.
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Osteopornosis
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A degenerate disease. |
Percussive Maintenance
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The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
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Perot
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To quit unexpectedly. “My cellular phone just perot’ed.”
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Physmental (adj.)
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The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. |
Plug-and-Play
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A new hire who doesn’t require training. “That new guy is totally plug-and-play.”
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Prairie Dogging
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When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what’s going on.
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Reintarnation
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Coming back to life as a hillbilly. |
Ribs ‘N’ Dick
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a budget with no fat as in “we’ve got ribs ‘n’ dick and we’re supposed to find 20K for memory upgrades”
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Salmon Day
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The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”
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Sarchasm
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The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it. |
Seagull Manager
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A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
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Siliwood
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the coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers; also “Hollywired”
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SITCOMs
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What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. “Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage”
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Square-Headed Spouse
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Computer
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Squirt the Bird
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To transmit a signal up to a satellite. “Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?”
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Starter Marriage
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A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
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Stress Puppy
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A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.
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Swiped Out
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An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.
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Tourists
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Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. “There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.”
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Treeware
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Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
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Umfriend
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One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”
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Under Mouse Arrest
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Getting busted for violating an online service’s rule of conduct. “Sorry I couldn’t get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.”
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Uninstalled
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Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.
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World Wide Wait
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The real meaning of WWW.
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Xerox Subsidy
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Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
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Yuppie Food Coupons
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Twenty dollar bills from an ATM
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