Burma Shave Signs

Do these bring back memories? They were all over the rural roads of the Midwest when I was growing up. If you’ve never seen a Burma Shave sign, here’s a quick lesson in U. S. history of the 1930's and '40's.

Before there were Interstate highways, when everyone had to drive two-lane country roads, Burma Shave posted signs in farmers' fields. They always came in groups of five, small red signs with white all-caps block letters, spaced about 100 feet apart. Each had one line of a four line poem, followed by the obligatory fifth sign bearing the name of the then-popular (and still available?) shaving cream.

A guy who drives
A car wide open
Is not thinkin'
He's just hopin'
Burma-Shave

A man -- a miss
A car -- a curve
He kissed the miss
But missed the curve
Burma-Shave

A man who passes
Over hills and curves
Isn't a man of iron nerves
He's crazy
Burma-Shave

A whiskery kiss
For one you adore
May not make her mad
But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave

Altho insured
Remember, kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay your widow
Burma-Shave

Angels who guard you
When you drive
Usually retire
At sixty-five
Burma-Shave

Around the curve
Lickety-split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma-Shave

At intersections
Look each way
A harp sounds nice
But it's hard to play
Burma-Shave

Both hands on the wheel
Eyes on the road
That's the skillful
Driver's code
Burma-Shave

Bracing as
An ocean breeze
For after shaving
It's sure to please
Burma-Shave Lotion

Brother speeders
Let's rehearse
All together
Good morning nurse
Burma-Shave

Burma-Shave
Was such a boom
They passed the bride
And kissed the groom
Burma-Shave

Candidate says
Campaign confusing
Babies kiss me
Since I've been using
Burma-Shave

Car in ditch
Driver in tree
Moon was full
And so was he
Burma-Shave

Cautious rider
To her reckless dear
Let's have less bull
And lots more steer
Burma-Shave

Deadly thoughts
'Bout lights that shine
If he won't dim his
I won't dim mine
Burma-Shave

Doesn't kiss you
Like she useter?
Perhaps she's seen
A smoother rooster!
Burma-Shave

Don't lose your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
Burma-Shave

Don't stick your elbow
Out too far
It might go home
In another car
Burma-Shave

Don't try passing
On a slope
Unless you have
A periscope
Burma-Shave

Drinking drivers
Nothing worse
He put the quart
Before the hearse
Burma-Shave

Drinking drivers
Enhance their chance
To highball home
In an ambulance.
Burma-Shave

Drove too long
Driver snoozing
What happened next
Is not amusing
Burma-Shave

Famous last words
Bright lights that shine
If you won't dim yours
I won't dim mine
Burma-Shave

Feel your face
As you drive by
Now don't you think
It's time to try
Burma-Shave

Folks wouldn't feel
In so much danger
If we still had
The ol' lone ranger
Burma-Shave

For early morning
Pep and bounce
A brand new product
We announce
Burma-Shave Lotion

Hands on the wheel
Eyes on the road
That's the skillful
Driver's code
Burma-Shave

He saw the train
He tried to duck it
Kicked first the gas
And then the bucket
Burma-Shave

He tried to cross
As fast train neared
Death didn't draft him,
He volunteered
Burma-Shave

Her chariot raced
At 80 per
They hauled away
What had ben her
Burma-Shave

His brush is gone
So what'll we do
Said Mike Robe I
To Mike Robe II
Burma-Shave

His cheek was rough
His chick vamoosed
And now she won't
Come home to roost
Burma-Shave

His face was smooth
And cool as ice
And Oh, Louise!
He smelled so nice
Burma-Shave Lotion

I'd heard it praised
By drug store clerks
I tried the stuff
Hot dog! It works
Burma-Shave

If you don't know
Whose signs these are
U can't have
Driven very far
Burma-Shave

If your peach
Keeps out of reach
Better practice
What we preach
Burma-Shave

It has a tingle
And a tang
That starts the day off
With a bang
Burma-Shave Lotion

This cream makes
The farmer's daughter
Plant her tu-lips
Where she oughter
Burma-Shave

It would be more fun
To go by air
But we can't hang
These signs up there
Burma-Shave

Just this once
And just for fun
We'll let you finish
What we've begun
?????

Listen birds
These signs cost money
So roost awhile
But don't get funny
Burma-Shave

My job is keeping
Faces clean
And nobody knows
De stubble I've seen
Burma-Shave

No matter the price
No matter how new
The best safety device
In a car is you
Burma-Shave

No use knowing
How to pick 'em
If your half-shaved
Whiskers stick 'em
Burma-Shave

On curves ahead,
Remember, sonny,
That rabbit's foot
Didn't save the bunny
Burma-Shave

Passing cars
When you can't see
May get you a glimpse
Of eternity
Burma-Shave

Passing on hills
And curves, you know
Should only be done
At a beauty show
Burma-Shave

Passing school zone
Take it slow
Let our little
Shavers grow
Burma-Shave

She kissed the hairbrush
By mistake
She thought it was
Her husband jake
Burma-Shave

She will flood
Your face with kisses
'Cause you smell
So darn delicious
Burma-Shave Lotion

Slow down, Pa!
Sakes alive
Ma missed two signs
Four and five
Burma-Shave

Speed was high
Weather was hot
Tires were thin
X marks the spot
Burma-Shave

Spring has sprung
The grass has riz
Over where last year's
Careless driver is
Burma-Shave

Statistics prove
Near and far
That folks who drive
Like crazy are
Burma-Shave

The ladies take
One whiff and purr
It's no wonder
Men prefer
Burma-Shave Lotion

The midnight ride
Of Paul for beer
Led to a warmer
Hemisphere
Burma-Shave

The one who drives
When he's been drinking
Depends on you
To do his thinking
Burma-Shave

The place to pass
On curves, you know,
Is only at
A beauty show
Burma-Shave

The whale put Jonah
Down the hatch
But coughed him up
Because he scratched
Burma-Shave

The wolf is shaved
So neat and trim
Red riding hood
Is chasing him
Burma-Shave

There'd be more traffic
In the air
If we could put
These signs up there
Burma-Shave

There's hardly a man
That's now alive
Who passed on hills
At seventy five
Burma-Shave

These signs we gladly
Dedicate
To men who've had
No date of late
Burma-Shave

They missed the turn
Car went whizzin
Fault was her'n
The funeral his'n
Burma-Shave

Thirty days
Hath September
April, June
And the speed offender
Burma-Shave

To kiss a mug
That's like a cactus
Takes more nerve
Than it does practice
Burma-Shave

Train approaching
Whistle squealing
Pause -- avoid that
Run down feeling
Burma-Shave

Train wrecks few.
Reason clear.
Fireman never
Hugs engineer
Burma-Shave

Trains don't wander
All over the map
'Cause nobody sits
In the engineer's lap
Burma-Shave

Twinkle, twinkle
One-eyed car
We all wonder
Where you are
Burma-Shave

Use Burma-Shave
In tube or jar
Then follow up
With our new star
Burma-Shave Lotion

Violets are blue
Roses are pink
On graves of those
Who drive and drink
Burma-Shave

When super-shaved
Remember, pard
You'll still get slapped
But not so hard
Burma-Shave

When you're frisky
From the whiskey
Don't be driving
'Cause it's risky
Burma-Shave