You get this one, the next one's
on me.
|
We won't be here long enough to
get another round.
|
I'll get this one; the next one's
on you.
|
Happy hour is about to end. Beers
are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll
be $4.50 a pop.
|
Hey, where's that friend of yours?
|
I have no interest in talking to
you except as a way to get your attractive friend
into a compromising position.
|
What do you have on tap?
|
What's cheap?
|
Female: I'll have a glass of
house white.
|
I'm easy.
|
Male: I'll have a glass of house
white.
|
I'm gay.
|
Female: I'll have an Amaretto
& OJ.
|
I'm really easy.
|
Male: I'll have an Amaretto &
OJ.
|
I'm really gay.
|
Do you have any Sambuca?
|
I want to make my friend really
sick so we can all laugh at him in the morning.
|
Male to female: Ever try a body
shot?
|
I am even willing to drink tequila
if it means that I get to lick you.
|
Female to male: Ever try a body
shot?
|
If this is how wild I am in the
bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed?
|
Female: Can I just get a glass
of water?
|
I'm annoying but cute enough to
get away with this.
|
Male: Can I just get a glass
of water?
|
It's 6:00 am and I just stopped
drinking an hour ago. Hell, probably spent half
my paycheck in here last night, it is the least
you can do for me.
|
Female: I don't feel well; let's
go home.
|
You're paying more attention to
your friends than to me.
|
Male: I don't feel well; let's
go home.
|
I'm horny.
|
Who's got the next round?
|
I haven't bought a round in almost
three years, but I am an expert at diverting
attention.
|
Male to male: Excuse me.
|
Get the hell out of the way.
|
Male to female: Excuse me.
|
I am going to grope you now and
blame it on the crowd.
|
Female to male: Excuse me.
|
Don't even think about groping me.
Just get the hell out of my way.
|
Female to female: Excuse me.
|
Move your fat ass. Who do you think
you are anyway? You're certainly not all that,
missy, coming in here dressed like a ho. And
get your eyes off of my man or I'll slap you
like the slut you are, bitch.
|
That person looks really familiar.
|
Have we had sex?
|
Female: I don't have my ID on
me.
|
I'm 16.
|
Male: I don't have my ID on me.
|
I don't have a license since I got
pulled over and blew a .4 after my last visit
here.
|
No, really, I'm OK to drive.
|
I'm wasted and too embarrassed to
have anybody see who I'm going home with.
|
I'm not used to these darts.
|
I can't throw anything smaller than
a beer bottle when I'm this bombed.
|
I've had like ten beers already.
|
I've only had three; I just need
an excuse to behave this way.
|