Actual (?) HeadlinesEnfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training Stolen Painting Found by Tree Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Steals Clock, Faces Time War Dims Hope for Peace Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Farmer Bill Dies in House Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire Eye Drops off Shelf Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again Stud Tires Out Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in ‘84 Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Air Head Fired Deer Kill 17,000 Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Miners Refuse to Work after Death Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Include your Children When Baking Cookies Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Teacher Strikes Idle Kids British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead |
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From You've Got Laughs! Al Lowe's Book of Internet Humor © 1998 - 2010 by Al Lowe • All Rights Reserved • Updated September 20, 2012 |