Actual(?) Bumper Stickers100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest? 186,000 Miles/Second: Its Not Just A Good Idea, Its The Law! A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night A Mouse Is An Elephant Built By The Japanese A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind Air Pollution Is A Mist-Demeaner Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets All Men Are Idiots... And I Married Their King. Always Remember: Youre Unique, Just Like Everyone Else. Anything Free Is Worth What You Pay For It As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools. Atheism Is A Non-Prophet Organization Ax Me About Ebonics Back Up My Hard Drive? How Do I Put It In Reverse? Be Nice To Your Kids; Theyll Pick Out Your Nursing Home. Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beer Holder. Beer: Its Not Just For Breakfast Anymore. Beer: The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel Boldly Going Nowhere But I Just Cant Get My Head That Far Up My Ass Cat: The Other White Meat Caution -- Driver Legally Blonde Change Is Inevitable, Except From A Vending Machine Chemistry Professors Never Die, They Just Smell That Way! Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult Clones Are People, Two Coles Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage Consciousness: That Annoying Time Between Naps. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit. Could You Drive Any Better If I Shoved That Cell Phone Up Your Ass? Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes Despite The Cost Of Living, Have You Noticed How It Remains So Popular? Diplomacy Is Saying Nice Doggy Until You Find A Rock Does The Name Pavlov Ring A Bell? Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That Dont Drink And Drive...You Might Hit A Bump And Spill Your Drink. Dont Piss Me Off! Im Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies. Dont Take Life Too Seriously; You Wont Get Out Alive Dyslexics Untie! Dyslexics Have More Fnu. EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later. Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway Editing Is A Rewording Activity Elvis Is Dead And Im Not Feeling Too Good Myself Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery Entropy Isnt What It Used To Be Eschew Obfuscation Ever Stop To Think And Forget To Start Again? Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Dont Have Film. Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion F U Cn Rd Ths U Cnt Spl Wrth A Dm! Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park. Forget World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal! Friends Help You Move. Real Friends Help You Move Bodies. Give Me Ambiguity Or Give Me Something Else God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. God Must Love Stupid People, He Made So Many Graduate Soon! Millions On Welfare Depend On You Grow Your Own Dope, Plant A Man Guys: No Shirt, No Service -- Gals: No Shirt, No Charge Hard Work Has A Future Payoff. Laziness Pays Off Now. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit Hes Not Dead, Hes Electroencephalographically-Challenged Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends. Help Stamp Out And Eradicate Superfluous Redundancy Honk If Anything Falls Off Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet Honk If You Want To See My Finger Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost? I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To I don't have a license to kill, I have a learner's permit. I Dont Have To Be Dead To Donate My Organ I Dont Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It I Drive Like This To Piss You Off I Feel Like Im Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe I Get Enough Exercise Just Pushin My Luck I Got A Gun For My Wife; Best Trade I Ever Made. I Have The Body Of A God ...Buddha I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory I Know What Youre Thinking And You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself. I Must Be A Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes I Need Someone Really Bad. Are You Really Bad? I Think Feminists Are Cute! I Took An IQ Test And The Results Were Negative. I Used To Be Indecisive. Now Im Not Sure I Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke. I Want To Die In My Sleep Like My Grandfather, Not Screaming And Yelling Like His Passengers I Wonder How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend On Me Im Just Driving This Way To Piss You Off. Im Not A Complete Idiot; Some Parts Are Missing. Im Out Of Bed And Dressed - What More Do You Want? If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling. If It Aint Broken... Fix It Till It Is If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut? If We All Quit Voting Will They All Go Away? If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You! If You Can Read This, Then Youre In Range If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People. If You Think Im A Bitch, Wait Until You Meet My Mother Illiterate? Write For Free Help Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings." IRS: Weve Got What It Takes To Take What Youve Got. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger. It Is As Bad As You Think, And They Are Out To Get You. Its Lonely At The Top, But You Eat Better. Jesus Is Coming! Look Busy! Jesus Saves He Passes It To Gretzky He Shoots He Scores! Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Maybe Jesus Loves You, But Everyone Else Thinks Youre An Asshole Microbiology Lab: Staph Only! Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. My Kid Had Sex With Your Honor Student My Reality Check Just Bounced My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... or something like that. No Sense Being Pessimistic. It Wouldnt Work Anyway Nothing Is Foolproof To A Sufficiently-Talented Fool On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers Out Of My Mind; Back In Five Minutes Pardon My Driving. Im Reloading Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point. Rap Is To Music What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art Reality Is A Crutch For People Who Cant Handle Drugs. Remember: Stop Lights Timed For 35 MPH Are Also Timed For 70 MPH. Remember My Name - Youll Be Screaming It Later Santas Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set Save Your Breath - Youll Need It To Blow Up Your Date! Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It! Seen It All, Done It All, Cant Remember Most Of It Shes Always Late. Her Ancestors Arrived On The June Flower Smile. Its The Second Best Thing You Can Do With Your Lips. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time Some People Are Alive Only Because Its Illegal To Kill Them Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either! The Earth Is Full - Go Home The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name The More You Complain, The Longer God Makes You Live. The Sex Was So Good That Even The Neighbors Had A Cigarette. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me Those Who Live By The Sword Get Shot By Those Who Dont To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing. Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Up My Clothes. Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship. We Are Born Naked, Wet, And Hungry... Then Things Get Worse. Welcome To Shit Creek - Sorry, Were Out Of Paddles What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions? When The Chips Are Down, The Buffalo Is Empty Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? Where Theres A Will, Im In The Way. Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G? You Are Depriving Some Village Of Its Idiot You Have The Right To Remain Silent. Anything You Say Will Be Misquoted And Used Against You You! Out Of The Gene Pool! Youre Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Speak To Me Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But Youre Still An Asshole |