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You May Have Had Too Much Christmas Cheer if…

…you notice your tie is sticking out of your fly.

…someone is using your tongue for a coaster.

…you start kissing the portraits on the wall.

…you see your underwear …hanging from the chandelier.

…you hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.

…you strike a match and light your nose.

…you wade barefoot in the potato salad.

…you hear someone yell, "Call a priest!"

…you hear a duck quacking …and it's you.

…you comment, "Small bathroom!" as you emerge from a closet.

…you refill your glass from the fish bowl.

…you tell everyone you have to go home ...and the party's at your place.

…you ask for another ice cube …and put it in your pocket.

…you yawn at the biggest bore in the room ...and then realize you're in front of a mirror.

…you pick up a roll and butter your watch.

…you suggest everyone stand for the singing of the national budget.

…at dinner, you ask the hostess to pass the bedpan.

…you take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.

…you tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

…you realize you're the only one under the table …the coffee table.