Is Better Than Christmas
There's no "Kathy Lee Gifford Hanukkah Special."
Eight days of presents (well, in theory, anyway).
More elephants in the Hanukkah story.
No need to clean the chimney.
No Dance of the Sugar-Plum Rebbe.
No roof damage from reindeer.
Burl Ives doesn't sing Hanukkah songs.
Never a silent night among Jewish families.
No pressure to buy Hanukkah Seals.
Betting Hanukkah gelt (money) on candle races.
"You're a Putz, Charlie Brown."
Yes, Rivka'le, there is no Santa Claus.
No barking dog version of "I had a Little Dreidel."
Naked spin-the-dreidel games.
No pine needles to vacuum.
Fun waxy buildup.
No awkward explanations of virgin birth.
Latkes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.
Cheer is optional.
No Irving Berlin songs.
You can't be nailed to a menorah.