The Wall Street Journal

is read by the people who run the country.

The Washington Post

is read by people who think they run the country.

The New York Times

is read by people who think they should run the country.

USA Today

is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie chart format.

The Los Angeles Times

is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn’t have to leave LA to do it.

The Boston Globe

is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

The New York Daily News

is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

The New York Post

is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

The San Francisco Chronicle

is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs and who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats.

The Miami Herald

is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

The National Enquirer

is read by people trapped in grocery store lines.