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Understanding Golf

Golf balls are like eggs: they’re white, they sell them by the dozen and a week later you need to buy more.

The pro shop is so-named because you need the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.

A golfer will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps and yet never once help out around the house.

It’s easier to get up at 6 AM to play golf than to get up at 10 AM to mow the yard.

It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. But then, hospitals also frown on surgeons riding carts, drinking beer, eating hot dogs, and passing gas in the operating room.

A good drive off the 18th tee has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game entirely.

Golf is the perfect game for Sundays because you always end up praying.

A good golf partner always plays a little worse than you.

If a storm rolls in, it will happen while you’re having the game of your life.

If you can't remembering whether you shot a six or a seven, you probably shot an eight.

You wouldn’t look good in a green jacket anyway.