The Cowboy’s Guide to Life
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s sure crucial to know what it was!
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
Don’t worry about bitin’ off more’n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
Generally, you ain’t learnin’ nothing when your mouth’s a-jawin’.
Good judgment comes from experience and a lotta experience comes from bad judgment.
If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort... it probably ain’t.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there with ya.
It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back.
Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
Tellin’ a man to git lost and makin’ him do it are two entirely different propositions.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
The surest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
There are three kinds of men: them that learn by reading, them that learn by observation, and them that pee on electric fences themself.
There’s two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you’re throwing’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.