The Corporate Zodiac
Astrology tells us about you by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like and dislike. But the Corporate Zodiac goes further: now we know all about you simply by your job title!
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the heck can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that 90% of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergo-dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel!"
The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/TEAM LEADS
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager."
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child, very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotion, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
Just three little numbers: 666.
You are ambitious, yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing -- which pretty much equals your current job responsibilities. Least compatible with Engineering.
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without the degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture." Throughout your life, you'll seek admiration for your golf game.