Back to Al's Text Humor Page
TV's 100 Greatest Quotes & Catch Phrases
|
"...if it weren’t for you meddling kids!" |
Various villains |
Scooby Doo |
|
"Aaay!" |
Fonzie |
Happy Days |
|
"And that’s the way it is." |
Walter Cronkite |
CBS Evening News |
|
"Ask not what your country can do for you …" |
John F. Kennedy |
|
|
"Baby, you’re the greatest." |
Ralph Kramden |
The Honeymooners |
|
"Bam!" |
Emeril Lagasse |
Emeril Live |
|
"Book ‘em, Danno." |
Steve McGarrett |
Hawaii Five-O |
|
"Come on down!" |
Johnny Olson |
The Price is Right |
|
"Danger, Will Robinson!" |
Robot |
Lost in Space |
|
"De plane! De plane!" |
Tattoo |
Fantasy Island |
|
"Denny Crane." |
Denny Crane |
Boston Legal |
|
"Do you believe in miracles?" |
Al Michaels |
1980 Winter Olympics |
|
"D’oh!" |
Homer Simpson |
The Simpsons |
|
"Don’t make me angry…" |
David Banner |
The Incredible Hulk |
|
"Dynomite!" |
J.J. |
Good Times |
|
"Elizabeth, I’m coming!" |
Fred Sanford |
Sanford and Son |
|
"Gee, Mrs. Cleaver…" |
Eddie Haskell |
Leave it to Beaver |
|
"God’ll get you for that." |
Maude |
Maude |
|
"Good grief." |
Charlie Brown |
Peanuts Specials |
|
"Good night and good luck." |
Edward R. Murrow |
See It Now |
|
"Good night, John Boy." |
|
The Waltons |
|
"Have you no sense of decency?" |
Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy |
|
|
"Heh heh…" |
Beavis & Butthead |
Beavis and Butthead |
|
"Here it is, your moment of Zen." |
Jon Stewart |
The Daily Show |
|
"Here’s Johnny!" |
Ed McMahon |
The Tonight Show |
|
"Hey now!" |
Hank Kingsley |
The Larry Sanders Show |
|
"Hey, hey, hey!" |
Dwayne Nelson |
What’s Happening!! |
|
"Hey, hey, hey!" |
Fat Albert |
Fat Albert |
|
"Holy ______, Batman!" |
Robin |
Batman |
|
"Holy crap!" |
Frank Barone |
Everybody Loves Raymond |
|
"Homey don’t play that!" |
Homey the Clown |
In Living Color |
|
"How sweet it is!" |
Jackie Gleason |
The Jackie Gleason Show |
|
"How you doin’?" |
Joey Tribbiani |
Friends |
|
"I can’t believe I ate that whole thing." |
|
Alka Seltzer advertisements |
|
"I know nothing!" |
Sgt. Schultz |
Hogan’s Heroes |
|
"I love it when a plan comes together." |
Hannibal |
The A-Team |
|
"I want my MTV!" |
|
MTV |
|
"I’m Larry, this is my brother, Darryl…" |
Larry |
Newhart |
|
"I’m not a crook." |
Richard Nixon |
|
|
"I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV." |
|
Vicks Formula 44 ads |
|
"I’m Rick James, bitch!" |
Dave Chappelle as Rick James |
Chappelle’s Show |
|
"Is that your final answer?" |
Regis Philbin |
Who Wants to be a Millionaire |
|
"It keeps going and going and going…" |
|
Energizer Batteries ads |
|
"It takes a licking…" |
|
Timex ads |
|
"Jane, you ignorant slut." |
Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd |
Saturday Night Live |
|
"Just one more thing…" |
Columbo |
Columbo |
|
"Let’s be careful out there." |
Sgt. Esterhaus |
Hill Street Blues |
|
"Let’s get ready to rumble!" |
Michael Buffer |
Various sporting events |
|
"Live long and prosper." |
Spock |
Star Trek |
|
"Making whoopie!" |
Bob Eubanks |
The Newlywed Game |
|
"Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" |
Jan Brady |
The Brady Bunch |
|
"Mom always liked you best." |
Tommy Smothers |
The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour |
|
"Never assume…" |
Felix Unger |
The Odd Couple |
|
"Nip it!" |
Barney Fife |
The Andy Griffith Show |
|
"No soup for you!" |
Soup Nazi |
Seinfeld |
|
"Norm!" |
|
Cheers |
|
"Now cut that out!" |
Jack Benny |
The Jack Benny Program |
|
"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!" |
Stan and Kyle |
South Park |
|
"Oh, my nose!" |
Marcia Brady |
The Brady Bunch |
|
"One small step for man…" |
Neil Armstrong |
First moon landing |
|
"Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?" |
|
Grey Poupon ads |
|
"Read my lips: No new taxes!" |
George H.W. Bush |
|
|
"Resistance is futile." |
Picard as Borg |
Star Trek: The Next Generation |
|
"Say good night, Gracie." |
George Burns |
The Burns & Allen Show |
|
"Schwing!" |
Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as Wayne and Garth |
Saturday Night Live |
|
"Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy." |
Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle |
|
|
"Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids!" |
|
Trix Cereal |
|
"Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!" |
|
Candid Camera |
|
"Sock it to me." |
|
Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In |
|
"Space, the final frontier…" |
Capt. Kirk |
Star Trek |
|
"Stifle!" |
Archie Bunker |
All in the Family |
|
"Suit up!" |
Barney Stinson |
How I Met Your Mother |
|
"Tastes great! Less filling!" |
|
Miller Lite Beer |
|
"Tell me what you don’t like about yourself." |
Dr. McNamara & Dr. Troy |
Nip/Tuck |
|
"That’s hot." |
Paris Hilton |
The Simple Life |
|
"The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat." |
Jim McKay |
ABC’s Wide World of Sports |
|
"The tribe has spoken." |
Jeff Probst |
Survivor |
|
"The truth is out there." |
Fox Mulder |
The X-Files |
|
"This is the city…" |
Sgt. Joe Friday |
Dragnet |
|
"Time to make the donuts." |
|
Dunkin’ Donuts |
|
"Two thumbs up!" |
Siskel & Ebert |
Siskel & Ebert |
|
"Up your nose with a rubber hose." |
Vinnie Barbarino |
Welcome Back, Kotter |
|
"We are two wild and crazy guys!" |
Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd |
Saturday Night Live |
|
"Welcome to the O.C., bitch." |
Luke |
The O.C. |
|
"Well, isn’t that special?" |
Dana Carvey as The Church Lady |
Saturday Night Live |
|
"We’ve got a really big show!" |
Ed Sullivan |
The Ed Sullivan Show |
|
"Whassup?" |
|
Budweiser |
|
"What you see is what you get!" |
Geraldine |
The Flip Wilson Show |
|
"Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?" |
Arnold Drummond |
Diff’rent Strokes |
|
"Where’s the beef?" |
|
Wendy’s |
|
"Who loves you, baby?" |
Kojak |
Kojak |
|
"Would you believe?" |
Maxwell Smart |
Get Smart |
|
"Yabba dabba do!" |
Fred Flintstone |
The Flintstones |
|
"Yada, yada, yada…" |
|
Seinfeld |
|
"Yeah, that’s the ticket." |
Jon Lovitz |
Saturday Night Live |
|
"You eeeediot!" |
Ren |
Ren & Stimpy |
|
"You look mahvelous!" |
Billy Crystal as Fernando |
Saturday Night Live |
|
"You rang?" |
Lurch |
The Addams Family |
|
"You’re fired!" |
Donald Trump |
The Apprentice |
|
"You’ve got spunk… and I hate spunk!" |
Mr. Grant |
Mary Tyler Moore |