Rules Of The Air
From the June, 2000 issue
of Australian Aviation Magazine
1. Takeoffs are optional. Landing
is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward,
the houses get bigger. If you pull stick back, they get smaller.
That is unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back,
then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous.
Crashing is dangerous.
4. It's always better to
be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing
you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have
too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just
a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool.
When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on
to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one
from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after
which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes
of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them
yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if
it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional
to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability
of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your
brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone
keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the
opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains
have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you
make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth
landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty
bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience
before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the
earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground
that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion
coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at
all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of
aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground
going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately,
experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end
going forward.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something
you've missed.
23. Remember: Gravity is not just a good idea, it's
the law. And it's not subject to repeal. Or appeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are:
altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second
ago.