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Quotes about Marriage

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. Perhaps that's why my wife treats me like toxic waste. –David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. –Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they can't face each other, but they still stay together. –Hemant Joshi

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad wife, you'll become a philosopher. –Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things and then prevents us from achieving them. –Dumas

The great question which I have not been able to answer is: "What does a woman want?"
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me. –Anonymous

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. Twice a week we take the time to go to a restaurant; a little candlelight, dinner, soft music, dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. –Sam Kinison

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same thing. –Oscar Wilde

There's one way of transferring funds that's even faster than electronic banking: marriage.
James Holt McGavrac

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. –Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: whenever you're wrong, admit it; and whenever you're right, shut up. –Ogden Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. –Anonymous

You know what I did before I was married? Anything I wanted to. –Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. –Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. –Milton Berle

Marriage is the only battle where one sleeps with the enemy. –Anonymous