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I'm A SysAdmin

Sung to the Monty Python classic "I'm A Lumberjack"

[spoken]

I never really wanted to be a scientist.
I wanted to be...a...a SYSADMIN!

[system engineer choir and shift supervisor enter, music strikes up]

Oh, I'm a sysadmin and I'm OK,
I grep all night and I chown all day.

[choir]

He's a sysadmin and he's OK,
He greps all night and he chowns all day.
 
I ping the nodes, I do PM,
I awk and perl and sed.
I've got a Star Wars lunchbox,
And Tron sheets on my bed!

[choir]

He pings the nodes, he does PM,
He awks and perls and seds.
He's got a Star Wars lunchbox,
And Tron sheets on his bed!
 
I ping the nodes, I change the rates,
I fork the processes.
I wish that all my lusers
would catch some rare disease!

[choir, growing slightly uncomfortable]

He pings the nodes, he changes rates,
He forks the processes.
He wishes all his lusers
would catch some rare disease!

[choir brightens as they repeat chorus]

I ping the nodes, I lock the /home partition and umounts.
I post .gifs of my boss's daughter from his own account!

[choir, very uncomfortable and trailing off]

He pings the nodes, he locks the /home partition and umounts,
He posts .gifs…?