|
Peter Marshall |
According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait a while. Why? |
Paul Lynde |
He’s out of town. |
Peter Marshall |
Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie “What’s The Matter With Helen?” Who plays Helen? |
Charley Weaver |
Dennis Weaver; that’s why they asked the question. |
Peter Marshall |
What are “dual-purpose cattle” good for that other cattle aren’t? |
Paul Lynde |
They give milk and cookies — but I don’t recommend the cookies. |
Peter Marshall |
When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex? |
Charley Weaver |
I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him. |
Peter Marshall |
Robert Young recently stated, “I never, never give...” something to his fans who ask for it. What? |
Paul Lynde |
A hysterectomy. |
Peter Marshall |
James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was “one of the best things I ever did.” What was it? |
Marty Allen |
Rhonda Fleming. |
Peter Marshall |
Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? |
Charley Weaver |
His feet. |
Peter Marshall |
Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What? |
Paul Lynde |
An engagement ring. |
Peter Marshall |
According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What? |
Charley Weaver |
Not drinking. |
Peter Marshall |
When the Lone Ranger finished with a case, he left something behind. What? |
Paul Lynde |
A masked baby. |
Peter Marshall |
True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them. |
Charley Weaver |
This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests. |
Peter Marshall |
You’re on your first visit to Japan and you head right for the Kabuki. Why? |
Paul Lynde |
It was a long plane ride. |
Peter Marshall |
If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high? |
Charley Weaver |
Three days of steady drinking should do it. |
Peter Marshall |
Do female frogs croak? |
Paul Lynde |
If you hold their little heads under water. |
Peter Marshall |
You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? |
Don Knotts |
That’s what’s been keeping me awake. |
Peter Marshall |
Is there any such thing as an F cup in bra sizes? |
Paul Lynde |
Yes, it sleeps four. |
Peter Marshall |
True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas. |
Paul Lynde |
Yes. We call them winos. |
Peter Marshall |
According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons? |
Paul Lynde |
No. You should dress warmly. |
Peter Marshall |
According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy? |
Paul Lynde |
Where can I get some? |
Peter Marshall |
Your baby has a certain object that he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit? |
Joan Rivers |
Yes. It’s daddy’s turn. |
Peter Marshall |
Do we get heat from stars? |
Paul Lynde |
You will if I have to share my dressing room again. |
Peter Marshall |
In what state was Abraham Lincoln born? |
Paul Lynde |
Naked and screaming like the rest of us. |
Peter Marshall |
Paul, can you get an elephant drunk? |
Paul Lynde |
Yes, but he still won't go up your apartment. |
Peter Marshall |
According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married? |
Rose Marie |
No, wait until morning. |
Peter Marshall |
Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? |
Charley Weaver |
My sense of decency. |
Peter Marshall |
In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"? |
Vincent Price |
No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. |
Peter Marshall |
Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us? |
Paul Lynde |
I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt. |
Peter Marshall |
What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "Can't Get Enough"? |
George Gobel |
I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. |
Peter Marshall |
As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking? |
Rose Marie |
You ask me one more "growing older" question Peter and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget! |
Peter Marshall |
According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman? |
Redd Foxx |
I wouldn't have it any other way. |
Peter Marshall |
If you find someone lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything? |
George Goebel |
I'd probably crawl around him I guess. |
Peter Marshall |
Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? |
Paul Lynde |
Because chiffon wrinkles too easily? |
Peter Marshall |
Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year? |
Charley Weaver |
Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries! |
Peter Marshall |
In bowling, what's a perfect score? |
Rose Marie |
Ralph, the pin boy. |
Peter Marshall |
Eddie, according to the Institute of Motivational Research, a wife should beware if another woman takes an interest in a certain item of her husband's clothing. What item? |
Ed Asner |
Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind. |
Peter Marshall |
True or false: A pea can last as long as 5,000 years. |
George Gobel |
Sometimes it sure seems that way... |
Peter Marshall |
Is there a weight limit for bags on airline flights in this country? |
Charley Weaver |
If she can fit under the seat, she can fly. |
Peter Marshall |
During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? |
Rose Marie |
Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. |
Peter Marshall |
Can boys join the campfire girls? |
Marty Allen |
Only after lights out. |
Peter Marshall |
When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do? |
Paul Lynde |
Make him bark. |
Peter Marshall |
True or false: George, experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant. |
George Gobel |
Yes, and I think I voted for six of 'em. |
Peter Marshall |
If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? |
Paul Lynde |
Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. |
Peter Marshall |
According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? |
Charley Weaver |
It got me out of the army! |
Peter Marshall |
Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy? |
Paul Lynde |
Why, that bitch! |
Peter Marshall |
While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting, "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean? |
George Goebel |
Cattle crossing. |
Peter Marshall |
It is the most abused and neglected part of your body-what is it? |
Paul Lynde |
Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected! |
Peter Marshall |
Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds? |
Charley Weaver |
A divorcee. |
Peter Marshall |
Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? |
George Gobel |
Get it in his mouth. |
Peter Marshall |
Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? |
Paul Lynde |
Who told you about my elephant? |
Peter Marshall |
Why do sheep sleep huddled together? |
Paul Lynde |
Because Little Boy Blue's a wierdo! |
Peter Marshall |
Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light? |
Paul Lynde |
Only during ballet practice. |
|
|
Peter Marshall |
It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other? |
Paul Lynde |
Tape measures. |
|
|
Peter Marshall |
Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? |
Marty Allen |
Only after lights out. |