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Peter Marshall's
Favorite Hollywood Squares Answers

Peter Marshall

According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait a while. Why?

Paul Lynde

He’s out of town.

 

Peter Marshall

Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie “What’s The Matter With Helen?” Who plays Helen?

Charley Weaver

Dennis Weaver; that’s why they asked the question.

 

Peter Marshall

What are “dual-purpose cattle” good for that other cattle aren’t?

Paul Lynde

They give milk and cookies — but I don’t recommend the cookies.

 

Peter Marshall

When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

Charley Weaver

I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

 

Peter Marshall

Robert Young recently stated, “I never, never give...” something to his fans who ask for it. What?

Paul Lynde

A hysterectomy.

 

Peter Marshall

James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was “one of the best things I ever did.” What was it?

Marty Allen

Rhonda Fleming.

 

Peter Marshall

Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

Charley Weaver

His feet.

 

Peter Marshall

Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What?

Paul Lynde

An engagement ring.

 

Peter Marshall

According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What?

Charley Weaver

Not drinking.

 

Peter Marshall

When the Lone Ranger finished with a case, he left something behind. What?

Paul Lynde

A masked baby. 

 

Peter Marshall

True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them.

Charley Weaver

This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests. 

 

Peter Marshall

You’re on your first visit to Japan and you head right for the Kabuki. Why?

Paul Lynde

It was a long plane ride. 

 

Peter Marshall

If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?

Charley Weaver

Three days of steady drinking should do it.

 

Peter Marshall

Do female frogs croak?

Paul Lynde

If you hold their little heads under water.

 

Peter Marshall

You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

Don Knotts

That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

 

Peter Marshall

Is there any such thing as an F cup in bra sizes?

Paul Lynde

Yes, it sleeps four.

 

Peter Marshall

True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas.

Paul Lynde

Yes. We call them winos.

 

Peter Marshall

According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde

No. You should dress warmly.

 

Peter Marshall

According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?

Paul Lynde

Where can I get some?

 

Peter Marshall

Your baby has a certain object that he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit?

Joan Rivers

Yes. It’s daddy’s turn.

 

Peter Marshall

Do we get heat from stars?

 Paul Lynde

You will if I have to share my dressing room again.

 

Peter Marshall

In what state was Abraham Lincoln born?

 Paul Lynde

Naked and screaming like the rest of us.

 

Peter Marshall

Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde

Yes, but he still won't go up your apartment.

 

Peter Marshall

According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?

Rose Marie

No, wait until morning.

 

Peter Marshall

Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

Charley Weaver

My sense of decency.

 

Peter Marshall

In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?

Vincent Price

No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

 

Peter Marshall

Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man.  What did he give us?

Paul Lynde

I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.

 

Peter Marshall

What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "Can't Get Enough"?

George Gobel

I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

 

Peter Marshall

As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?

Rose Marie

You ask me one more "growing older" question Peter and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!

 

Peter Marshall

According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?

Redd Foxx

I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Peter Marshall

If you find someone lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything?

George Goebel

I'd probably crawl around him I guess.

 

Peter Marshall

Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

Paul Lynde

Because chiffon wrinkles too easily?

 

Peter Marshall

Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?

Charley Weaver

Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!

 

Peter Marshall

In bowling, what's a perfect score?

Rose Marie

Ralph, the pin boy.

 

Peter Marshall

Eddie, according to the Institute of Motivational Research, a wife should beware if another woman takes an interest in a certain item of her husband's clothing. What item?

Ed Asner

Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind.

 

Peter Marshall

True or false: A pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

George Gobel

Sometimes it sure seems that way...

 

Peter Marshall

Is there a weight limit for bags on airline flights in this country?

Charley Weaver

If she can fit under the seat, she can fly.

 

Peter Marshall

During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

Rose Marie

Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

 

Peter Marshall

Can boys join the campfire girls?

Marty Allen

Only after lights out.

 

Peter Marshall

When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?

Paul Lynde

Make him bark.

 

Peter Marshall

True or false: George, experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.

George Gobel

Yes, and I think I voted for six of 'em.

 

Peter Marshall

If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

Paul Lynde

Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

 

Peter Marshall

According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

Charley Weaver

It got me out of the army!

 

Peter Marshall

Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?

Paul Lynde

Why, that bitch!

 

Peter Marshall

While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting, "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?

George Goebel

Cattle crossing.

 

Peter Marshall

It is the most abused and neglected part of your body-what is it?

Paul Lynde

Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!

 

Peter Marshall

Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?

Charley Weaver

A divorcee.

 

Peter Marshall

Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

George Gobel

Get it in his mouth.

 

Peter Marshall

Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

Paul Lynde

Who told you about my elephant?

 
Peter Marshall
Why do sheep sleep huddled together?
Paul Lynde
Because Little Boy Blue's a wierdo!
 

Peter Marshall

Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?

Paul Lynde

Only during ballet practice.

 

 

Peter Marshall

It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?

Paul Lynde

Tape measures.

 

 

Peter Marshall

Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

Marty Allen

Only after lights out.