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Hollywood Explained via Light Bulb Jokes

How many executive producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive producers don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

How many studio executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1,000. One to do it and the others to say, "I would've done that differently."

How many D. P.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No, wait.... how many do we have on the truck?

How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candleholder...

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?

If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.

How many P. A.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nine. One to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

How many P. A.'s does it take to screw in a...

Done!

How many development executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The bulb is in and it's staying in!

How many first A. D.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why the f**k are you asking me? Can't you see I'm busy!

How many U. P. M.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None! Make it a day exterior we won't screw around with all these light bulbs!

How many casting directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, if I really had to choose, there's this one bulb, he's a little oversized for the socket but he burns really bright, or wait, no, there's this little bulb, he's really energy efficient if you want to save time and money, but, wait, there's a fabulous bulb I just saw in a showcase, he has no name value whatsoever, but the design was to die for, but, wait...

How many extras does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Is that a S. A. G. light bulb? How did it get its card? Did it know someone?

How many casting directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter--nobody will give them credit anyway.

How many publicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That is a total rumor. The light bulb has some very good friends, but at this time, is not interested in screwing.

How many directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. The director just holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him.

How many prop masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Light bulb? Light bulb? The script doesn't mention any light bulb!

How many union electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. You got a problem with that?