God vs. Satan
And
God populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and
spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man
and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And
Satan created McDonald's. McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent
double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want
fries with that?"
And
Man said, "Super size them."
And
Man gained pounds.
And
God created healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure.
And
Satan brought forth chocolate.
And
Woman gained pounds.
And
God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And
Satan brought forth ice cream. And hot fudge. And whipped
cream.
And
woman gained pounds.
And
God said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables
and olive oil with which to cook them."
And
Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed
its own platter. Dripping with gravy.
And
Man gained pounds. His cholesterol went through the roof.
And
God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose
those extra pounds.
And
Satan brought forth the remote control, so Man would not
have to travel the few feet necessary to change from ESPN
to ESPN2.
And
Man gained pounds.
And
God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And
God brought forth the potato, low in fat and brimming with
nutrition.
And
Satan peeled off its healthful skin, sliced the starchy center
into chips, and deep-fat-fried them. And he created sour
cream dip also.
And
Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips
swaddled in cholesterol.
And
Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And
Man went into cardiac arrest.
And
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And
Satan created HMOs.