Back To Als Site
Back to Al's Text Humor Page

Beer or Vagina?

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. Point: BEER

2. Warm beer tastes awful. Point: VAGINA

3. A really cold beer is satisfying. Point: BEER

4. If, after taking a swig of your favorite beer, you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. Point: VAGINA

5. If you come home reeking of beer, your wife may get mad. If you get home reeking of vagina, your wife may leave you. Hmmmm? Point: DRAW

6. Ten beers in one night and you can’t drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don’t want to drive anywhere. Point: VAGINA

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, you may harm your reputation. If you eat a lot of vagina in public, you may become a legend. Point: VAGINA

8. If a cop stops you and smells beer on your breath, you may get arrested. If a cop stops you and smells vagina on your breath, he may buy you a beer. Point: VAGINA

9. You normally don’t find old beer. Point: BEER

10. Too much beer and you’ll see stars. Too much vagina and you’ll see God. Point: VAGINA

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. Point: VAGINA

12. Most places tax beer. Point: VAGINA

13. If you have another beer, your first beer never gets pissed off. Point: BEER

14. You know for sure if you’re the first to open a beer. Point: BEER

15. If you shake beer, it gets agitated but eventually settles down. Point: BEER

16. You always have a choice of beers: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc. Point: BEER

17. You always know how much beer will cost. Point: BEER

18. Beer doesn’t have a mother. Point: BEER

19. Beer never expects to cuddle after you drink it. Point: BEER

20. Tapping a Keg? Easy. Tapping a Vagina? May take weeks. Point: BEER


Final Score

BEER: 11

VAGINA: 8

The winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and now feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that BEER would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them. Score one extra point for BEER!