Actual (?) Travel Agent Stories
by a former Washington, D.C. travel agent
of over 30 years
A New Hampshire Congresswoman called to ask for an aisle seat
so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
A Candidate's Staffer called, wanting to go to Capetown. I started
to explain the length of the flight and the passport information
then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without
trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts. Capetown is in Africa."
Her response? Click.
A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean view room. I tried
to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle
of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on
the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"
A Lawmaker's wife asked, "Is it possible to see England
from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But
they look so close on the map."
A Bush cabinet member's aide called and asked if they could
rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed
they had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why
he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a
big airport, and we want the car so we can drive between gates
to save time."
An Illinois Congresswoman wanted to know how it was possible
that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago
at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead
of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast. She bought
it!
A New York lawmaker asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied,
"Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said "FAT." I'm overweight and
I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold so
I could "look into it" (I was actually laughing),
I came back to her and explained the city code for Fresno, CA
is "FAT," and that the label was only a destination
tag.
A Senator's aide inquired about a trip package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper
to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
A freshman Congressman called from the airport to ask, "How
do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly
did he mean. He replied, "You told me my flight number
is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."
A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?"
I asked her if she meant "fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter
plane"? She said, "Yeah, whatever!"
A senior Senator had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports,
I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've
been to China many times and never had one." I double-checked
and, sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him
this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times. Every
time they've accepted my American Express!"
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations. "I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent
was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure
that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do
you have?" she replied. After some searching, the agent
came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am. I've looked up every
airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows
where it is. Check your map!" The agent pulled out a map
of New York state and finally asked, "You don't mean 'Buffalo,'
do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
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