Dog Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts--I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot--
Sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

I Hate my choke chain.
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot--no greater bliss--well,
Maybe catching rats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.

The cat is not all
Bad--she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.

Dig under fence--why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more--I call
Them a vocation.

My owners' mood is
Romantic--I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.



Dog Haiku I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be. Today I sniffed Many dog butts--I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paperboy--come to kill us all-- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage man--come to kill us all-- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot-- Sniff this and weep. How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug. My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle. I Hate my choke chain. Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack! Sleeping here, my chin On your foot--no greater bliss--well, Maybe catching rats. Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you as much I do. The cat is not all Bad--she fills the litter box With Tootsie Rolls. Dig under fence--why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there. I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating. You may call them fleas, But they are far more--I call Them a vocation. My owners' mood is Romantic--I lie near their Feet. I fart a big one.